A goodbye to 'Mack's Mom' and a hello to new beginnings

I began blogging (and putting videos on youtube) for 2 main reasons- to keep track of Mackenzie's progress and to update friends and family especially during her early years when we had doctor's appointments quite often. I had no idea that the blog and youtube videos would be seen by so many around the world (and that I would get messages quite often from parents going through similar journeys).

I am thankful for the connections we've made through sharing Mackenzie's story, locally and around the world. Mackenzie's story has encouraged many and many have encouraged us. I have a very close friend (we've never met but hope to meet in the near future) who contacted me this past year because she came across this blog. She has daughters similar to Mack. We text on a daily basis and talk on the phone often. This blog has also helped us become close to our Joubert Syndrome family (where I also gained close friends who I talk to often). 

But as Mackenzie gets older, BJ and I want it to be her choice to continue to share her story- not ours. And for this reason I have decided to step away from Mack's mom blog. 

We state many times how we've learned so much through parenting Mackenzie. She is on the 'mild' end of the spectrum with Joubert Syndrome so we've seen what it's like to parent a child who doesn't do things in the "typical" way, but we've also seen her hit milestones (just a little later than the norm). We've watched her never give up. We've learned that determination goes a long way. 

We've gone through many phases the past 7 years of parenting. Two years ago I felt like I hit a wall. I questioned everything. I didn't feel like I (or Mack, or we as a family) fit in with anyone. I kept searching to find someone to relate to. But over the past 2 years, I realize that God continuously places people in my life to show me that even though our family 'situation' may be unlike anyone else's, I can still relate to those closest to me. I've realized that we all have our struggles. But it's up to me as to how I handle those struggles - comparing to others will essentially get me nowhere. 

I know God allowed me to realize so much in order to help Mack realize the same as she gets older. Instead of looking at Mack as one who "struggles", who has "learning disabilities", who has "special needs"- I look at her as being unique because that's what I want her to see herself as. I want her (and others) to realize that all of us are different in our own way. But that it's never ok to look at or treat someone differently. And even though the plan for our life doesn't always turn out the way we imagined and even though we may encounter our share of struggles, it's still well worth living. Especially since those struggles end up being blessings in disguise. 

Thanks for all of the love and support. God has truly blessed us. Hopefully you'll be hearing from Mackenzie in the future. 😉

-BJ, Whitney & Mackenzie

Patience patience and add a little more patience

We went to the park earlier today. Mackenzie has become quite comfortable playing on playgrounds in general. But she does tend to avoid certain areas (or asks for our help on monkey bars, a small wall climb, fireman's pole, etc). She doesn't become frustrated often and honestly, I am the one who loses patience more than I would like to admit. I wish for her to have certain things come easier to her. But the reality is, every one of us struggles in some way or another.

Several weeks ago we went to the same park as we did today, and I ended up posting this on my personal IG/FB. My feelings from today are identical to this one.

“Earlier today Mack watched kids rock climb at the park. She decided to give it a try. She continued to watch kids climb up and down it while she tried several times (making it clear she wanted no help from me). She got scared when she first got off the ground. But she kept trying. And even though she decided not to go much off the ground, she looked at me and said, ‘Mommy, you have to take a picture to send to Daddy. Look what I did by myself!’ Thanks to Mack and a friend for reminding me to focus on Mack’s individual accomplishments and not what others around her are doing.”

Today I sat on a bench while BJ played with Mackenzie. And I was able to sneak a video. The video is almost 3 minutes long (but worth every seconds of watching!). It shows Mack trying to balance herself from going from one round 'stone' to another. And it shows her wanting to do it all on her own. I admit- I wanted to go give her a hand to help her to the next (I love how patient BJ was the entire time!). At one time she did hold onto his hand but only to figure out how to balance better. 

And just like always, Mack's excitement when she accomplishes this makes me so proud! She continued going back and forth the two to the point where she was doing it with quite ease.

I think I started off Mack's life with a lot more patience than I have now. I've spent this evening looking at videos pertaining to Mack's progress from crawling to walking. And I noticed how patient I was in the videos. I will post a few videos below (and share links to more videos in case you're interested- which I think they're worth checking out:)). 

Mackenzie started 'crawling' around a year old. She scooted on her belly (she was over 18 months old when she was crawling the 'typical' way). 

She started pulling up in her crib at 18 months old. 

And soon after she started to be able to use a toy walker to take a few steps (Walking with toy walker - 18 months old). Fast forward 4 months and she was getting steadier while using a toy walker (Walking with toy walker- 22 months old). Then came cruising around her pack-n-play (Cruising 24 months old). 

To taking her first steps at 25 months old!

It took her a few months later to comfortably walk 10+ steps (Walking - 28 months old), then a month later she started walking from room to room (Walking around the house- 29 months old). 

At 2 1/2 years old (at the end of a 10 day vacation at the beach) Mack decided to take off on the beach). 

I share all of the above (partially because it's helping me remember some key milestones) but also to show the progress it took Mack to go from crawling to walking. I could continue sharing videos from the time she was 2 until now (I'll save that for another post:)). 

And all of this progress took patience on her end and on mine. Parenting has been a journey for us. It has had it shares of excitements and frustrations. But today I was reminded that asking God for a little bit (and sometimes a lot) of patience will go a long way. It will help keep our focus on Mack as a person and where she's at in life (not where society expects her to be). And it will make our journey quite enjoyable. I was reminded, while watching her today at the park and then watching these videos, how enjoyable it has been watching Mack hit so many milestones all in her own time. 

No matter how fast or slow a child progresses in any given area, we need to make sure to always cheer them on. To teach them to have independence and determination. To celebrate each and every milestone- no matter how big or small they may be. To lend a hand when needed but to not be so quick to lend a hand too soon. And to have PATIENCE.